Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Good Feeling

I have pictures and videos but you will have to wait a bit before I post them. What I want to share with you is a good feeling, or better yet a GREAT FEELING! When I went to pick up Judah a couple weeks ago I went up to the car and he caught just a glimpse of who was approaching the car and I saw him light up like a Christmas tree! I had to go back to my vehicle and when I came back to Jodi's car Judah had his face PLASTERED up against the window with his nose squished against the glass and slobber running down the window because of his "father like" cheesy grin, and the closer I got he began to bounce up and down. As he was taken out of the car he couldn't get to my arms fast enough, and as I grabbed him he took both his hands and put them on the sides of my face and looked me in the eyes almost as to say "hi daddy, I've missed you!"

With every visit he continues to get more and more excited to see me and every time I drop him off I can tell it is getting harder and harder for him to let go. It is a tough thing to have such joy and sadness at the same time. I love my son greatly and I'm so happy that he is overjoyed to see me as I am overjoyed to see him as well but that sadness in letting him go hurts my heart and as he gets older it will do the same to him as well. As he looks back to see where I'm going I wish he would understand that I'll be back and that I'll be there for him whenever he needs me.

I guess the reason I'm writing this is to let those of you who read my blog and don't just come for the Anne Geddes baby pictures (she's the one that puts babies in flowers and bear outfits etc..) and the Steven Spielberg videos with the amazing C.G.I. effects of me and my son actually having a good time together...lol, feeling left out. I wanted to put down my heart in writing rather than people trying to see it in a video or a picture. Sometimes people can see it better in words than in a movie. They say a picture say's a thousand words so rather than post a picture I figured I'd just write the 1000 words...lol. I hope all is well with everyone! Judah and I are doing great!